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A Surreal Moment on the 520 Bridge

Last week I was driving across the 520 bridge from Seattle to Bellevue. The wind was unreal. You could feel its pressure on the car and the lake looked like an ocean during a storm. Sloshing white caps were flinging spray onto windshields.

Up ahead, maybe 5 cars, a ladder suddenly blew off the top of a truck and landed perpindicular to the roadway. Drivers had to make a split second decision and were choosing to swerve around the ladder in order to avoid an accident. But how long could this go on before someone got hurt?

I checked my rearview mirror and saw I had some room between me and the car behind me. I slowed to a stop and the woman behind slowed as well. I got out of my car (on 520!) and motioned for the other lane of traffic to stop. Once it did I hurried to pick up the ladder and carry it off to the side. I had to go back a few more times to collect smaller pieces that had broken off in the fall.

Someone yelled out a thank you and when I looked back I could see rows and rows of cars lined up on the bridge waiting for me to finish. It was such a surreal moment.

I don't want to toot my own horn because if you read my "Dear Anne" blog below you'll learn that I once got in trouble for tooting my horn. But on the other hand, I am pretty proud of myself! Hopefully I helped save someone from either an accident or just an expensive bill from Les Schwab.

Samurai is Strong

It is time for me to write a few blogs, but tongue in cheek thoughts regarding all the waxing, facials, anti-aging and acne treatments that can be found at some spa on Mercer Island seem just a little unimportant after reading my friend's blog about her son Sam's fight against cancer.

I've known my friend, Jodilyn Owen, since we were babies and have watched her turn into a remarkable woman. Her dedication to her children, husband, extended family and friends is truly beyond compare. She, along with her amazing husband, Benjy, has been fighting for her son's life in a way you only hope you would if, heaven forbid, it was happening to you. And now, when it is most bleak and she's hoping for a miracle, she is demonstrating such grace. And gratefulness for the time she's had with Sam and the time she still has with him.

And talk about grace. Sam is a wonder! An example to all of us. He's a samurai. He's Samurai Strong!

I wish them a miracle. I wish them a miracle. I wish them a miracle. Wish them one too, please.

Goodbye Uncle Stanley

I haven't written a blog in awhile. I haven't been feeling very Sugary or Swanky. My uncle was diagnosed with Stage 4 throat cancer in early July and the family has devoted the past two months to his comfort and care. Sadly, he lost the fight on August 21st. I'm not quite back to myself yet, but I will be soon. Thanks to everyone for their love and support.

Dear Anne

Today as my son and I drove down Bellevue way in my well-marked Sugar & Swank Mobile we watched a car abruptly change lanes and cut off another driver, almost causing an accident. Moments later the same car suddenly slowed to well below the speed limit. The driver behind (the same driver who was cut off just moments before) had to think quickly so as not to rear end Nutty Driver. Unfortunately, his best choice was to veer into my lane, almost running into me. I honked once at Nutty Driver. Then, as she (at this point I saw Nutty Driver was female) pulled into the Bellevue Park & Ride, I honked again. I was scared, shaken and shocked at her neglectful driving behavior. She almost caused three major accidents within seconds.

Then I got this e-mail:

Comments: If you hope to promote your business in a positive way, perhaps you should use better judgement whilst driving around in your logoed van. Honking your horn once to show annoyance is a gracious plenty! You scared me by laying on the horn to a driver, then you did it again as you passed the car. I was in the middle of changing lanes and felt like blaring my horn at you! You write in your blog about how you so selflessly go to hospitals for others' cancer treatments. I was headed in for mine and already stressed enough. Please be a sugar and show a little restraint in the future.

The essential message in this email is honest and makes sense. In honking at someone who was frightening me I in turn frightened someone else. But the writer suffocated this important lesson under oozing, toxic, judgmental, mean-spirited sarcasm, causing me to focus less on her message and more on how unkind she is.

Too bad she didn't have all the facts. Too bad, as well, she didn't provide an email address so that I could apologize and explain. If she reads my blog again maybe she'll see this and know that, even though it was buried under hate, I did get her message. Of course, she twisted me going to visit friends and family at the hospital into something bad (That part just makes me want to cry - especially since we laid my uncle to rest exactly one week ago today.) so she's likely to misinterpret me again.

In any case, next time she's upset with someone I would suggest skipping the hurtful words and just saying, clearly, what she means. It is a lot more effective.

A Sugar & Swank History Lesson

While married I was happily able to live my dream of being a stay-at-home mom. But once I got divorced in 2001, staying home with my son was no longer possible. Out into the workforce I went, leaving my sweet baby boy in the care of others. I actually didn't mind working - I enjoyed using my brain. But I absolutely hated the fact that my son and I had gone from spending all day together to being apart for the majority of it.

For several years there was no way around it - I had to work and that meant working for others. I always felt I did neither my professional job nor my mommy job well enough because I could never give either 100%. My boss would say, "I need you here right at 8 am. I consider 8:05 late." Or, "Isn't there someone else who can stay home with your son when he's sick?" And my favorite: "Jennifer, you're not detail oriented."

I wanted to say, "I leave my sleeping son with a nanny at 7:15 am, before he's even awake, and fight horrible traffic to get here by 8. So it might be 8:05. Nope, there's no one else he can stay with when he's sick. And you would literally topple over if you had to balance the details I successfully manage on a regular basis. I'm just much better at managing said details when they benefit me rather than you." But I didn't fight back until 2006.

That's when I had enough and decided it was time to work for myself. My biggest goal in doing so was to have the ability to drive my son to and from school on my own. And I'm happy to say that by creating Sugar & Swank Skincare I consistently meet this goal. Even more, I also get to volunteer in my son's classroom, help out in the school's office, go on field trips and drive the carpool.

So what else do I strive for with regards to my career? In addition to offering the most effective treatments possible, Sugar & Swank strives to be a place where women can take a break for a moment and have their chance to be nurtured.

But after being a single mom for such a long time I know firsthand how hard it is to get to the spa. So if your son is in the hospital with cancer and you want a brow wax I'll bring the wax to you. If you can't drive due to a fall I'll come over to custom blend make-up right in your kitchen. I've done facials on women while they've breastfed and have fed and rocked babies while massaging their mom's shoulders. Today while I gave his mom a bikini wax a four-year-old watched Spongebob on my I-Pod and played with the toys I stash under my spa bed. It was the only "me time" she was going to get, so we made it work!

I always admire those who perservere in times of difficulty. I always wonder how I'd handle those times, and in writing this blog I see that I was actually faced with such challenges and pushed through until I created a new and better situation. Not just a situation, but a lifestyle. I am not just being. I am being Sugar & Swank.

You can do it too. Go after your dreams, my friends. Make it happen. I know you can.

And in the meantime, take care . . . of yourself.

Sunscreen Extreme

The two pictures above speak louder than any words I could ever write. Maybe, just maybe, I used to like laying out in the sun a little bit too much. I was never the girl slathering on baby oil while lying atop a reflective beach blanket. Nope, no Crisco and foil for me. I thought I was much smarter to catch the sun's love while floating in the ocean (um, also reflective) from a comfy raft while wearing absolutely no sunscreen at all. Oh, and then maintaining my natural tan with daily fake-n-bake visits to the tanning salon.

If going to skin care school and learning about the damage the sun can cause the skin didn't cure me of my sun-tanning addiction I'd say getting diagnosed with pre-melanoma on my left shin - two different times - nipped any residual desire in the bud. Yeah, you can look at that picture too. What a pretty shin I have now.


These days you won't find me in the sun at all. In fact, now you'll find me in a pleasant spot in the shade, lathered in sunscreen, wearing a light sweater and a floppy hat.



The recent warm weather in Seattle plus a recent trip to Hawaii has made me even more of a sunscreen expert. So in addition to staying well-shaded and covered up, let me share a couple personally tested tips.

Sunless Spray Tanning - Get the suntanned look without the sun. Wendy Smith of Divine Tan comes right to your home to spray you with the most natural, even, odor-free, sunless spray tan imaginable. Plus she's a freak about chemicals so she uses the most organic products she can find. www.divinetan.com

Super Duper Sunscreen - I use Dermaware's Screenplay on a daily basis. It is an SPF 30, contains zinc and titanium dioxide which absorb the sun's rays and reflect them like a mirror, and lasts all day!

Custom Blended Mineral Make-Up - Sugar & Swank's custom blended mineral make-up has a natural SPF 26 and literally reflects the sun away from the skin like a mirror. Not only does it last all day, but it gets more and more creamy and dewy the longer you wear it. It isn't 100% waterproof, but it lasts well in the water as long as you don't directly rub it off with your hands or a towel.

Before 10 and After 4
Let's face it, staying entirely outside of the sun isn't much fun. Experts say that before 10 am and after 4 pm are the safest hours to be outside, so simply try get things done in the early morning or late afternoon. Even more important, skip noontime outdoor activities that put you directly in the sun.

Post-Sun Peel Party - Don't worry if you got too much sun. Just come into Sugar & Swank for a peel at the end of summer to help eliminate the damage. Look at the difference in my skin after I started peeling regularly. (Plus an "after" picture of me which shows what a difference the custom blended minerals make.)